white
by Hanayuki Shizuka
Summary: they say if pain is too great, one would not cry, as cry numbs the hurt and that is a luxury.1shot


Disclaimer: POT doesn't and will never belong to me.

Author's POV

The day was gray; no thing seems to be alive. Everything was so faded and cold. The clouds seems to block out all the warm rays of sunlight and was determined to make the day as hard and heartless as the beings that graced this world.

A lone boy stood unmoving by the road side, his face covered partially by his hair and his shirt clung to his body due to the wet mist. As passer-bys walked by, they could stop to look at the statue blocking their way.

They would see a beautiful face under the light brown hair. They would see his gentle lips blue with cold. They could see the normally bright blue eyes dull. They could see, through all the tears misting the eyes, the pain and torture lurking beneath. They could see a broken Tensai.

Flashback

Fuji's POV

Fuji felt a jerk in his stomach. His Kuni-chan had just turned from him and ignored him. The swift sharp pain in his heart and gut caught him unaware. Kuni-chan, he wanted to call out, but he had already turned away, away from him, and somehow, he felt that, Tezuka had turned from his love as well.

Tezuka's back view was getting smaller as he walked down the hallway. Further and further away, he never did once turn back. Not once, not like he used to. Kuni-chan, what happened?

The day dragged on, Fuji tried to look for Tezuka at every chance he had, but Tezuka would make sure he was never alone or he would simply look away. Every time it happened, Fuji's heart break a little, every time he saw the remoteness in Tezuka's eyes, his spirit would shrivel a little.

Finally, before everyone leave for their club activities, Fuji managed to catch up with Tezuka. His hurt and pain faded, only by a little, anger gave him strength, but only so minima, just barely enough to confront Tezuka.

"Kuni…"he stopped when Tezuka turned and looked at him blankly. "Tezuka, I need to talk to you." He faltered, but his pride made him continued. "Why… why have you been so cold towards me?"

"Fuji…I think we need to stop seeing each other. I…I am with Atobe now. Gomen ne." his reply was so short and void of emotion. He left. Again, this time, Fuji didn't look up to see if he looked back. No, it was no longer necessary. Fuji knew he would not look back, his love was with Atobe now, and his eyes would look forward to Atobe, no longer him. He was the past, past, so cold already, so very cold.

Tezuka's POV

His heart broke when he walked away from Fuji again. He didn't want to hurt his love, but it was the only way, to prevent Fuji from getting more hurt in the future.

Atobe had asked him why, when Tezuka asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend, he didn't want to tell him, but Atobe had a way of wearing people down.

"How could I bear to hurt him with such uncertainties, how can I ask him to continue loving me, when I wasn't even sure if I can live to see tomorrow?" Tezuka looked away from the shocked expression on Atobe's face. He gave a bitter smile and turned away, his eyes stung with the unshed tears. He closed his eyes and told Atobe about his trip to the hospital, how he went through all the tests, and how the doctor informed him that he had brain tumor.

"Onegai, Atobe, onegai." His voice broke as he sobbed out his pain and misery. And when a strong pair of arms closed around him, he buried his face into Atobe's shoulders. He was totally broken down, never had he felt so tired. The secret was so great it bear down his spirit and soul. For a few moments, he could let down his guard and let all the pain go with his cry.

He cried, like he never cried before, for his impending death, for his betrayal of Fuji and most importantly he cried because Fuji had cried.

End of flashback

Author's POV

One month later, the rich Atobe-sama had married the great Buchou. Everyone was shocked, but no one was hit as hard as Fuji. When he heard the news, his smile slipped and his eyes opened. Those who saw his eyes had hoped that he hadn't open them. Such pain, such acute look of betrayal and such hopelessness, was too heartrending for any one.

The married couple, left for New Zealand immediately for their honeymoon.

Fuji had locked himself in his little shell. His smiles were gone, his humor all in the past.

Five months later, the rich and powerful Atobe-sama returned, with Tezuka, or rather Tezuka's body. All pitied him. But Atobe had pitied Fuji. Atobe had never love Tezuka, their marriage was but a hoax. But Fuji had loved the now gone boy so much.

At Tezuka's funeral, Fuji remained dry-eyed. He offered his condolences and threw his rose on the coffin, but not once, not even in private, had Fuji shed a tear.

They once say, when one was sad, one cried, but when one despaired, he would be calm, because the pain was too great to allow tears to numb it.

The night after the funeral, Fuji left alone, much to everyone's protests. He walked alone on a busy street, his soul was alone. His love was gone, left without even a goodbye. He now knew about Tezuka's illness, Atobe had taken pity on him and told him the truth. He could not believe that Tezuka would leave him. Even when he married Atobe, at least Fuji knew that he is safe, but now, he is gone.

"Tezuka, my Kuni-chan, the world seems to go on without you, but why to me, it seems as if everything had died? Kuni-chan, where are you, come back and make my world complete again. Onegai…ONEGAI!"

The wind whipped across the street, everyone huddled into their coats and hurried along. He was alone, totally in solitude on this world.

The chilly winds lashed at his lean frame. White hair danced to the death tune of the wind, across Fuji's face.

(Fuji's hair had turned all white in his despair…in case you didn't catch what it meant.)


End file.
